|The cause of my present dilemma|
This shambles shows part of the little area beyond our existing terrace (laid with old flagstones and with table, seats and a pot-belly barbecue, all of which you cannot see) that is presently a dilemma but scheduled to become a delight. The bank is presently covered with ivy, brambles and other weeds, plus squirrel-planted hazels, that have over-run an old stone wall - cannibalised for building elsewhere. There is a large shed we built to the right of the pic, which forms one side of the terrace, and steps up to the top level that leads to a path down the side of the barn. The area is overhung by a dead hawthorn that once shaded the terrace in summer, but the neighbour has poisoned it (hard to poison a hawthorn!) and her portable radio left on all day even when she isn't even in her garden means I can no longer bear to sit there.
And then I had this brainwave: R. needs more shed-space to store the things currently in his workshop that he says shouldn't be there at all. My idea, for his Christmas gift was that I would clear the area and provide the funds to build another small shed; though it would be quite large really as the space is larger than it looks. Which was all in hand until I 'took sick'. And after ten days in bed, I am so lacking in energy that I am not sure that I can face it. So my dilemma is, do I print the image - and two others taken from other angles - and draw the outline of a shed and give it to him on Christmas Day with funds for materials, and then hope that I can cope with at least clearing the area, or do I say nothing and get him something else? After his loving care and attention looking after me, feeding me, bringing me endless mugs of hot coffee and pounds of apples already peeled and sliced, he deserves better from me than chickening out. Even though he would never know. I've always helped with building projects. Right now, I can barely walk downstairs without nearly toppling over.